I try to hold it inside
The whole ocean of love
Bottled inside my tiny heart
But still a tiny drop escapes
On a lonely empty night
Little by little…….
That spot on my pillow grows
Like an ocean in high tide.

Sometimes.....

sometimes I look up at the sky
and wonder why did god make the stars ...
now i know why...
it make the nights less lonely ....
to see that you are not alone....
burning inside.....
yet twinkling for others....

sometimes I look at the familiar roads...
winding round the endless path..
where do they go ...you wonder....
now i know why....
to make people reach their destinies...
even if it leads them nowhere....

sometimes I look at the mirror....
showing me the other side.....
the side I was hiding from the world
now i know why....
you only see what you want to see...
coz all the things are in your head.....
you make-believe... play pretend...
the truth stares at you .....
when the mirror shatters into a million pieces...

sometimes I look at the sea...
So calm from far away.....
but the waves hit you wen u get near.....
now i know why.....
a hundred things are buried inside....
but u try and try ......
until the time comes....
to let things go.....
coz even the sea cant hold all the things inside....
why shud we even try....

here are a couple of others i wrote down.... still on dat trip......



NOT AS IF…….

Unheard….. unseen it grows
That little flower
So exquisite… so unique
Still no one knows
About that hidden beauty
It grows day by day….
Its face towards that window…
Your house in sight..
Looking towards you…..
Even at night…..
Giving it mysterious life
The solitary flower blooms
Destined to waste its beauty
On empty wishful nights
One sunny morning
Finally you noticed
Your face was so near
When you said
"look at this beautiful thing…
Damn I'll have to pull it out
It's just an unwanted weed
In the manicured garden
Of my planned dreams"
As its lying on the ground
Dying in solitude…unseen
Now why does my heart bleed?
Its not as if……
It was love…..
It was just ……..a pretty weed.


WAITING

Always taught
To think before you speak
To wait for your turn
To let the other person finish
Before you start talking….
Isn't it an irony
That none of it matters
when it really does….

I was waiting…
For your broken heart to heal
Hoping my friendship
Would make you forget
All the hurt you had to hide.
All the loneliness of your heart
would be filled with memories
sweet and eternal
like our first kiss…..

I was waiting….
For you to feel
What was slowly unfolding
Unknown to me
Inside my heart
What could only be… a silly thing
And I brushed it aside
Maybe it's just a phase
And it would pass.

I was waiting….
For you to finish speaking
So that I could say
The things ...unsaid…
But you told me once
Sometime things lose their value
When put in words
So I believed….
In the silent promise
In the quiet declaration
Of our love
Trusted you
Like a part of my own

I was waiting…..
For the glorious moment
When your would realize
Beyond doubt….
When nothing would stop you
From saying it aloud….
Waiting for you to
Say the things
My heart longed to hear

I was waiting……
But you were waiting too
For the right time
To tell me things
So as to not hurt me
As you walk away
With someone else
I ask myself
Didn't I wait enough?
Did I ever give up on you?
Why do I still wait at that corner?
Where you left me standing….
My hand is still warm
with your touch……

here are some of the poems i wrote.........


pain it seems is the best inspiration......


VOICES IN YOUR HEAD……

There are voices in your head
They won't let you rest
Move…. They say…. Move ahead
They scream and shout
They won't relent
There are damned voices…
And they torment.

They whip your senses
They lash out….
Every step that you take
They keep count…
"Don't stop now…
Don't look back….
Oh! What wonders may lie ahead..
If you just keep on track."
Move… they say… move ahead

The next turn…
The next twist…
The next girl…
Will be the best…
Imagine what you may find
Just around the corner
If you just keep on walking
Without making a blunder…
If you stop now
You will later regret
Oh! Why didn't I…
Move…. Move ahead….

There are voices in your head
And they are telling you things…
Don't wait……. Don't feel…….
Or they will catch you now….
And you would have chains on your feet
And they would never let you leave
They'll ask you where you are going…
And when you will be back
And then you will regret
Oh! Why didn't I ….
Move…. Move ahead…..

In the valley of flowers
You didn't wanna stay….
Oh! What sweet seductive song they play
"Look… look at the mountain…
Imagine what lies beyond………
Don't you settle down yet …
lest you might get bound…."
And so they tempted you again
Move… they said….. Move ahead

All this while you didn't even care
What that little whisper is….. in your ear
You ignored your own heart's beat
Never recognized….
What your heart was trying to tell you
Deep inside…….
Someday if you stop
And carefully listen
You will drown out the voices
And then it will happen
It won't need any words
No screams or shouts…
You will find what you were searching for
Right inside your own heart.

Is it too late now…
You will reminisce…
Can't I go back?
And Can't I have a look again…?
What did I lose…
In this heartless, cold pursuit…
Did I fail to see….
What I was really looking for…..
Oh! Now it's staring at me right in the eye….
In the faded mirror of… days long gone by….
The voices in my head
Are now laughing…..
You silly… silly boy…
What are you thinking…
That road you now remember
Is so far back…..
You can't go now
You can't surrender yet
We are so close to that final enigmatic wonder
Besides you can't go back in time….
Even if you tried …
That road's name has changed…
And 'her'…. you will never find.

The hollow voices again said…..
Move… they say… move ahead.




THE OTHER WOMAN

The day I first saw him…
Oh! What a decent man
His voice ever so charming…
He said "I'm sorry Ma'am"
My heart missed a beat
And soon I believed
All the things he said
Were all meant just for me
Time moved on…
The game got interesting….
"What do you really want ?" I asked….
Never suspecting
His eyes had that twinkle when he said
"I'm so attracted to you….
can't get you off my mind
I …… just wanna sleep with you"
Flattered and insulted
Didn't know what to say…
To punish a man for honesty
Was never my way…
" I can't leave you ever…." He continued…
"even if you got married, I'll follow you.."

Don't cry…. I said to myself
It wasn't meant to be with this man
Sometimes it's just your destiny
To be 'the other woman'

Then I met another man
Life once again resumed…
I felt all the past memories
Blurred and subdued….
Oh! Once agan my heart went on
Hoping this time…..
It won't just be a con.
" I love oyu" he said…
never missing a smile
"But I can't give you a future
and I don't wanna lie….."
but still he comforted me
saying it like he meant
"I wont ever lose touch with you
even if I got married or engaged…..
Wont you still kiss me sweetheart 'then'……
I would love you more than any other man"

Don't cry.. Don't be a fool
Did you fall for it once again….
Sometimes its just your destiny…
To be 'the other woman'

Dazed and confused
I wandered on……
Never expecting to find you
In this maddening world
When I wasn't looking for love…
It found me out
The roses were blooming..
Wasn't it all wonderful all around !!
You gave me a smile
And a million reasons too
You were so perfect….
I wondered if you were for true….
My heart beat faster…
When you said one day…
"I really really like you
You are every man's fantasy
And I have something to tell you
I got engaged…." But I want you to know
"I still can't forget that other night
I shouldn't have turned on the light"
I don't wanna lose you… you went on
I couldn't believe… half-kidding…..
When you said it to me…
"Won't you have an extra-marital with me"

Don't cry… don't be absurd
Did you really think you could get that man
Sometimes its just your destiny
To be 'the other woman'

Won't it ever happen…..
Won't someone see it in my eyes
If I'm too precious to be lost
Why are you not mine…..
No.. no… no…. did I wish for it again
How can I be such a fool….
To be wanting something else
Everyone has a destiny
And this is just not mine….
No matter how my heart bleeds…
Men don't ever wanna lose you
But they will never have you for keeps.
Deluded…and mislead
You always misinterpret
Grow up now….
Don't be such a fool again..

Don't cry… don't you even try
You should accept it by now
Sometimes it's just your destiny
To be 'the other woman'